Holiday Hiatus

I light of the 2 + week trip I'm about the leave on, I am taking a short blogging break for the holidays. I had thought about scheduling a few posts to keep you entertained while I'm away, but I ran out of time and I am SO tired right now. By the end of today I'll have worked 33 hours since Monday. Crazy, huh? At least it saves some of my vacation time.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Be safe, have fun and enjoy the season. I'll see you in the new year in which I plan to resume a regular posting schedule. Let's call it my New Year's Resolution ;)

An East Coast Christmas

Never thought that would be something that happened. But it's official. I bought our tickets tonight. I feel much less panicked than I have since my mom first brought this up yesterday morning. We're working out the details, but we will be on the east coast for Christmas. I hate the reason we're going, but I'm looking forward to seeing my uncles and family back there. It will be interesting for sure. We are spending next Christmas with the fiance's family, whether that is in California or the midwest. It's only fair. Maybe Easter too.

Bring It On

Summer lingers, it warmth still kissing the air. But Fall is coming, breathing a cool crispness in its approach. I've been incredibly aware and appreciative of the seasons this year, since the birth of Spring. While I've loved Summer and the warmth and sunshine it brought, I'm ready for Fall. For the crisp freshness and the beautiful leaves. I'm ready for desert season and learning to ride the 400 with a clutch. I'm ready for pumpkins and Pilgrims, followed by colorful lights and good cheer. The bf and I have already nearly worked out the holiday situation, which is pleasant and enjoyable. Still working on the particulars, but we are on the same page, cordial and thoughtful. I'm gathering my supplies to begin all my Christmas projects. The goal is to have things done before December so that I can soak in the joy of the season instead of pulling all-nighters to finish gift projects. Bring on Fall. I'm ready.

Belated Merry Christmas

Whew, seems like it's been ages since I was on a computer. Amazing how long a week can seem. Thanks everyone for the lovely Christmas wishes, I'll be around to catch up with everyone soon. The bf and I are heading back out to the desert tomorrow afternoon for New Year's out riding. Should be lots of fun. We'll come back early Friday morning because I have to work, but then we'll head out again for the remainder of the weekend. Lots of our friends are going out too, so it should be a really fun trip.

I'll probably get up a Christmas recount post, but right now I've got a lot of blogs to catch up on. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I'm sure I'll get up another post soon, but just in case, have a wonderful and shiny New Year! :)

What time did you go to bed?

That was the question I'd been waiting for all morning. My cleverly devised response? "well, umm...I sort of didn't"...
See, we got home from the boat parade last night and I started working on more projects, trying to get everything done. Somewhere in all of the painting and gluing and slicing and stringing, the clock struck 2:30...AM...and I was still awake. At that point I had a short mental dialogue in which I calculated how much I had left to finish, how much sleep I would get if I even bothered to go to bed, ultimately resulting in a mental "well, forget that, I may as well stay up at this point". So I happily continuted to work on my art projects to the background of Friends Season 9 (the bf bought me the complete series for Christmas!). Paused for a quick shower around 4:30 to refresh my energy and get a head start on the day.
And after all of that...I'm STILL not done with all my projects. But I will be, trust me, I will be. I'm nearing completion of the advent calendars, I'm SOOOO excited about these. I'll post pictures of the completed projects after I finish them (meaning you'll get those photos after Christmas) The bf and I are stopping by his paternal grandparents' house after work to deliver a fruit basket for them and to wish them a Merry Christmas. Afterwards it's home to finish projects, wrap presents and pack to head home tomorrow. I can't wait to get home!

....I also can't wait to crawl into bed tonight...hopefully before midnight, that would be nice...

Of Deserts and Christmas

We had a great trip out in the desert...I didn't try to fly!!! No witch's eyes for me this trip. Renee was a great teacher, she took me and the Manager on a smaller ride and on the bigger rides rode in front of me to model for me. I'll be honest, our first small ride Saturday over to the diner to get a few supplies had me freaked out. But I calmed down and Renee took me under her wing and was really great...I totally got my confidence back. I can't wait to go out there again with her. The bf was happy because he's not so much of a teacher and knew that I'd do really well with Renee. I also finally met Renee's daughter Bells, she's so much fun. She's in high school and we got along great. We laid out on the trailer ramp Sunday afternoon while the bf and the others got back from a photo shoot of a race (we headed back early because we got bored) and fell into a giggle fit that lasted a good half hour. Bells may be a bit younger, but she is seriously cool. (pics of me riding and our desert Christmas decorations coming soon...)

Christmas is 16 days away, I can't believe how quickly it's coming. I still have a lot to do, but feel confident that I'll get everything done. Today I'm going to be practicing for my conducting final on Thursday and doing laundry (SOOO fun...not) On the fun list is putting up Christmas lights around my apartment and working on my Christmas cards (hopefully I'll finish making them tonight) Once I get them done then I can finish all my other Christmas projects.

-advent calendars for my brothers (both in progress....there will be a post with pictures for this)
-paint back of and personalize ornaments
-paint ornaments for colleagues
-paint wooden Christmas decorations that are gifts (angel and tree)
-make candle holders (there will be pictures of this, probably in its own post)
-make frame for my Grama (cookie baking picture with likewise decorated frame)

...I feel like I'm missing some projects on here. But I still have time to get it all finished. :) I also have baking plans the next two Saturdays, which I'm super excited about. Baking this weekend at my apartment (possibly with the bf) and then next weekend with the bf's mom. Next weekend is Christmas with the bf's parents, his mom and I are super excited about our awesome plans. More about those later. I'm also working up a few posts about my favorite holiday traditions and such. I hope you are all having a wonderful December preparing for Christmas or whatever holiday you and your family celebrate.

Happy Friday!

I've managed to get 26 Christmas cards done so far. I have a bunch more in progress, I should be able to get the rest finished hopefully Monday and with any luck get them in the mail by Wednesday. I'd work on them this weekend, but we're off for another jaunt in the desert. (no falling this time) We're taking the manager with us this time, so it should be a lot of fun.

We were originally supposed to go to December Nights tonight at Balboa Park. I've gone the past two years, it's just a great place to go and absorb the holiday spirit. They have shows and lights and vendors and everyone is just so happy and pleasant. I'm okay missing it this time, but the bf feels a little bad about it, so he's making it up to me by doing Christmas in the desert. He bought a big inflatable Christmas penguin blow up to put on top of the trailer. We've got his ipod loaded with Christmas music, and he's letting me ransack the inside of the trailer with Christmas lights. :) We also have hot spiced cider which is a must :)

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Christmas Cards

A few months ago we were browsing through Costco and came across these awesome stamp sets. The bf bought me the holidays one as an early birthday gift. It's got stamps for everything, the really nice clear rubber stamps that you use with clear acrylic blocks. There was born the idea of making my own Christmas cards. I've been meaning to start them since October, but things just seemed to keep getting in the way, I would get them done later. Well, it's December, and I've got to get them done so I can put them in the mail. So far I've designed 5 different cards and am in the process of duplicating them. Believe me, the duplication part goes MUCH faster than the designing. I think I may design one more unique card, I haven't decided.

Since I am the girl with the camera and I haven't posted pictures in a LOOOOOONG time (I'm slacking, I know) I took some pictures of the completed cards so far. I may add one later, we'll see. So without further ado, here are the 5

Happy 1st of December

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving, mine went very well. I'll of course be catching up with all of your stories over the next few days, mixed in with making Christmas cards and getting ready for another trip to the desert. (I promise to not try to fly this time) The bf said we can decorate the trailer...I'm going to put up lights all throughout the inside, I'm so excited. The bf is looking into getting a blow up lit up thing to put on top of the trailer...I hope he gets one, it would be SO cool.

I cannot express how excited I am that it's finally December. I brought my little American Girl Christmas tree home with me and have that all lit and decorated over on my art box in the corner. I'm going to string lights up around the top of my apartment sometime in the next couple days I hope. The bf's mom got me the most beautiful nativity that sits perfectly on top of my DVD shelves. We're partially through decorating at work, the office looks great. The manager and I strung old ethernet cords from the ceiling, wrapped them in gold garland and hung paper candy balls on each loop. It's so awesome...we're lucky the manager is so tall, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to reach things.

December is getting jam packed full of fun holiday activities, my weekends are basically booked now through Christmas. And I can't wait! I spent this evening working on my Christmas cards. The bf bought me this great stamp set and I got the crazy idea to make my own cards this year. I got 4 models made tonight, I want to make 1 or 2 others and then go ahead and make duplicates of all of them. Luckily the duplicates won't take as long as the originals since I'll only be copying them and not designing them. They're not perfect, but I think they work. I'm so excited. There will be pictures of those when I'm done with them. Along with the picture of me on the quad in my gear (the bf hasn't sent them to me yet) Maybe I'll have some new desert ones to add after this weekend too. :) I'll have to get photos of the decorations in the trailer! The bf bought a brand new Canon XSI at Costco the day after Thanksgiving...it's BEAUTIFUL. Incidentally, Costco was cheaper than the Black Friday sales and much calmer too. I'm in love with a camera. It's seriously SOOOOO beautiful. I can't wait to upload pictures that I take with the camera. I think he's bringing the camera out with us this weekend, so that should be great.

Well, I've got to open in the morning so I ought to be getting to sleep here. Hopefully my phone doesn't turn off sometime during the night again like it did last night...luckily I woke up before I was late to work. (I was NOT pleased with my phone) I hope you have a fantastic week, I'll be around to catch up with you all throughout the next few days.

Sigh of Relief

I finally snapped out of my funk last night. I ended up taking a mental health afternoon yesterday after my class. I was too out of it and really just wanted to go home. Later on in the day the bf came over and we went to this wine place about a mile from my apartment where he was hosting a Young Adult wine tasting event for our church group. We had some wine and got to talk (we were there a few hours early to save space for our group) We talked about the holiday stuff and how things might work in the future. We came up with several scenarios, the first was planning a specific time to do our Thanksgiving with his parents, like, the weekend before. And that will be ours. And at least for Christmas, his parents could totally come and join in my family's celebration, because as the bf pointed out, it's WAY easier for the two of them to travel and join us than for my entire family to go somewhere. That will work with Christmas up at my grandparents house, but for other holidays it might be difficult just in terms of space because my Aunt's and Uncle's houses aren't super big. My mom DID invite his parents up for Thanksgiving since it's at my house, but they aren't going to come this time. They are planning to go over to the bf's paternal grandparents for a bit. I feel MUCH better about everything now. The bf's mom was also having a bad night when this happened, so it got blown up a little bigger than it actually was. (and to reiterate, I REALLY like his parents, they're wonderful and nice)

Thank you all so much for your support and words of encouragement, you really made me feel better about everything. I hope you all have wonderful weekends!

Holiday Navigation

I thought we had this all worked out, the holidays I mean. But I feel like I was completely blindsided today and now I feel completely awful and out of sorts. (you can't tell, but there was a LOOOONG pause here in writing this post) I did just talk to my mom about it and feel a little bit better, but I'm just out of it. It probably doesn't help that I'm hormonal, so while my feelings are valid, I'm not dealing with them as well as I usually would.

The bf told me at work today that his mom got upset with him last night about holiday stuff and that we should split them, one there one here because it's not fair. This came out of nowhere for me, because we had multiple discussions regarding holidays. Our plans were to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas up with my family, and we were going to celebrate those holidays with the bf's parents on a different day, either before or after. This decision was made after the bf and I had a long discussion in which I was told that his family didn't do big stuff for holidays and as long as they got to celebrate the day didn't really matter. This was ALSO emphasized by his parents in at least two different conversations. So I took this assurance from everyone that things were fine...only now apparently they aren't.

Holidays are big in my family, we go all out, and they're the handful of times a year that my extended family gets together. They're really important to me. Our plans for Thanksgiving were to drive up to my parents' house Thursday morning, and then come back here Saturday evening. I was going to get my parents' house decorated like I always do, and I wanted to help my Papa with his indoor decorations, since he's decided not to do the outdoor lights this year (which also makes me sad). Saturday I was going to bake cookies with my Grama. It's our little tradition to bake Christmas cookies together, we have since I was little. There have only been a few years that we've missed it. Evidently the Barbershop Quartet thing is Saturday afternoon. Which I may have known, but definitely do not have written down...and clearly the bf was not consciously aware of it either when we finalized our Thanksgiving plans to come back Saturday evening. The plan was to go with his parents on Sunday to buy their Christmas tree. Now we're going Thursday and coming back either Friday night or Saturday morning. I am hoping that I can do cookies with my Grama Friday AND get all of at least my parents' decorations up.

The bf said earlier that we just need to be aware of how many days we're going up for each thing. Have I mentioned that I hate the words balanced and equal and fair? Because most things in this world, simply are not. He mentioned that he thought they just didn't realize how many days we'd be gone each time. We just barely finalized yesterday that we were taking off the 23rd and would head up to my parents' the evening of the 22nd. The plan was to come back maybe the evening of the 26th or sometime the 27th. Now I don't know what the plans are. In terms of "fair" and "equal", you do have to consider that I hardly ever get to see my family. They live 3+ (depending on traffic) hours away. I'm going to get to see them on Thanksgiving, and then I'm not going to get to see them again until Christmas. Because of various plans I don't have a free weekend until the weekend just before Christmas, which doesn't really make sense to drive up and then come back for maybe 2 days and go back up. And now I don't even have that weekend because the bf's parents anniversary is the 23rd and the light parade (in the harbor) is that Sunday and that's their anniversary celebration thing.

I know that eventually there has to be compromise and figuring all this stuff out as you get older, but I wasn't supposed to have to do it this year. I'm not ready to do it this year. Honestly the thought of not being with my family both holidays makes me want to throw up. I feel like a selfish bitch saying any of that. And really, there are things on the weekends all throughout December with the bf's parents. I see them WAY more often than I see my own family. We are always there, the bf lives with them. (long story about that one...basics is they moved and he moved back into the house, and then they came back...) So when you start throwing out words like equal and fair, if you really want to consider it, I barely see my family. And I'm REALLY close to my family, especially my parents and my grandparents. What got me the most upset is that now I'm not sure that I'm going to get to bake cookies with my Grama. Because it's not fair. Also, as my mom pointed out, we are ONLY DATING!!! Yes, he's the one and I'm pretty darn sure I'm going to be marrying him. So that just makes it more complicated.

I mostly just feel really crappy right now. And I do realize that I would probably be handling this better if hormones weren't also a factor. I'm not mad at his parents, I understand actually, I just feel blindsided, this feels like it came out of nowhere...which is partly why I'm upset and out of it...I usually see things coming and am at least slightly prepared. I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me.

I know most of you who read my blog are married and probably have experience with stuff like this, with the navigation of the holidays. How do you "split the days" to "make it fair and even"? What do you do? And how did you make that transition and those decisions?

Brick Walls

It's really interesting how life has a way of pulling you in so many different directions. It's also incredibly frustrating when things are going along so nicely and then life slams you into that brick wall that came from out of nowhere and leaves you with the cartoon birds circling your head, wondering what happened and where the heck that brick wall came from.
Last Thursday? I hit one of those walls. And come Monday, just when I thought I'd shaken off the birds and gotten back to normal? I slammed into its twin brother. Commence the cartoon birds, only this time twice as many of them. I played it off Monday, had a wonderful book club evening, and seemed to have escaped that brick wall unscathed. Funny thing is, when we don't feel the pain? That's usually when it's bad and going to hit us the worst. Tuesday was the day it happened to catch up with me. Limited patience for the mindless issues we sometimes get here at technical support. Working on projects that I didn't quite understand and having supervisors inaccessible to answer questions made for an even lower frustration threshold. It took all my concentration and will power not to go crazy.

My family has a wonderful dog, have I ever mentioned her? Her name is Angel, and while I sometimes questioned my intelligence in christening her with such a name, as sometimes she doesn't live up to it, she definitely made me love her even more Monday. My older little brother told me the story, and I wanted to buy Angel a steak when I heard it. See, she's a very protective dog. She's little, a small Queensland Healer...it took a German Shepard sized shot to put her under to get stitches when she cut her mouth on a stick...but she protects like a Great Dane. My brother happened to answer the phone Monday afternoon when I called to check in, and he told me a story about how Angel reacted to the morning. She does like strange people in her house, particularly when she's separated by a glass window. Apparently when the paramedics came into the house (and I guess there were several of them), she went crazy. All she could see were strange men and my little brothers. My mom was upstairs waiting for them, out of sight of my precious puppy. My brother described Angel backing all the way up to the brick wall, and launching herself at the double paned glass slider...multiple times. As I reasoned for my brother, all she could see was a bunch of strange men in there with the boys, she couldn't see my mom, so all she could think was that they were going to hurt the boys, and by golly she was going to break through the window. Apparently the boys were able to calm her down through the glass, though she gave some pretty serious warning growls when the paramedics came downstairs helping my mom. She was dizzy and having trouble feeling her feet, and then began to think about the stories of women who missed signs of heart attacks, and there she was, home alone with my two little brothers. She called my grandparents, and the paramedics, just to be safe. The doctor at the E.R., incidentally the one who treated her concussion after the accident, diagnosed some sort of vertigo, and sent her to our normal doctor after an EKG confirmed that her heart was fine. Our doctor determined that she hadn't really recovered from the migraine that triggered the panic attack last week, and that probably had something to do with the vertigo. How did i find out about it? Two quick phone calls from my dad's phone, with my mom asking for my grandparents' cell number. Apparently they'd passed a road closure for an accident near their house, and my mom couldn't reach them at home. Turned out that they were on their way back from lunch with the boys and were all safe and sound. My mom called back to tell me why she'd needed the number and to tell me about that morning's events. I love my dog, she really is an Angel. She was bound and determined to break through that glass to protect her family.

Unsurprisingly, I was rather off on Tuesday. (Monday night was book club, so I did okay then) Survived the day and then went home to hide and unwind. Decided to work on art projects, painting, because it's therapeutic and calming. And trust me, after Monday? I needed something calming. I don't usually get so on edge, but it does happen occasionally.
Somewhere in my therapeutic crafting preparation I decided that I was not satisfied with my art supplies, and decided I needed to go shopping. Don't worry, the rational side of my brain set a spending limit before I left, and I didn't hit it. (I was a whole $8 - $18 under...the range was $50 - $60) I found it comforting that they had already started stocking their Christmas supplies. Art always calms me down. Christmas art even more so. I'm eager to go back and get some more Christmas art projects. (yes, I know it's August)
I have this really cool advent calendar that my aunt bought me when I was little. (it is extra special because my aunt has since passed away, nearly 12 years ago I believe now) It's a wooden box type gadget, with two rows of little cubbies with numbered flaps. Each of these hides a little ornament. There is a wooden tree above with little nails in it to hang the ornaments on. You put one ornament on the tree each day, and on Christmas Eve, there is a wooden star that slips over the top. My brothers absolutely love my calendar, and take turns hanging the ornaments while I have been away at school. My mom has always wanted to get similar calendars for my brothers, but they just don't make them like this anymore. Needless to say, at some point I would like to take my calendar with me, but I don't want to disappoint my brothers. So, in my crazy impulse stress shopping, I devised a plan to recreate copies of my calendar. I finally found the supplies, and purchased the mini ornaments (which were the inspiration for the project) and have begun making the calendars. I'll have to take pictures and post as I complete it, it really is turning out well. I'm very excited. I've decided to give the boys the calendars as Christmas gifts, and then take my advent calendar for next year, since they'll have their own.

My mom is doing better. I've been talking to her every morning on my way to work, and most afternoons. She's more frustrated than anything with all of this, which I can completely understand. I'm warring between frustration, worry and anger. I'm working to tone down the anger part though. I know she'll be okay, I just hate to have to see her struggle or be in pain or be frustrated. I'm praying and I appreciate the prayers I know she's been getting from everyone. I just wish she would be better already. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe it's a test to learn patience. I don't know. We'll see. And in the meantime? I'll be praying and working on art projects. And of course, trying to manage to avoid running into any more brick walls anytime soon. I'm at the point of giving each of those little cartoon birds a name.