Several Letters

To the two morons in the street,

One, you were j-walking. Yes, most of us have done it at some point in our lives. It doesn't make it any less stupid. Two, you were about 15 feet from the stoplight and a crosswalk. Seriously? Just walk the extra few feet. If you decide to go ahead and do it anyway, then do it quickly. Do not saunter at a snails pace across the pavement. You do not look cool swaggering across the street in the face of oncoming traffic. You look like a complete moron without a drop of common sense in your body.

Questioning your brain function,
The girl in the car who very nearly almost considered running you over, even though she doesn't like Darwin
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Miss Last minute,

Let's be honest, we both know you were going to merge. You had a ridiculously long distance to merge over, yet you waited until you were about to run into a sign to turn on your blinker and try, forcing me to slam on my breaks to let you over. You are lucky I'm nice.

~The girl glaring at you in your rear-view mirror
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Dear Aunt Flo,

I hate you. Make up your mind or go away.

Love,
Jaina
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To everyone who drives a car,

They have this remarkable new-fangled technology to let other drives know when you're going to change lanes or turn. They're called BLINKERS. They're stupid simple to turn on and you are LEGALLY required to do so. Am I the only one who passed driver's ed? You are not exempt, nor are you more important than anyone else on the road. If you don't use your blinker, don't be surprised when I speed up to not let you over. I strongly dislike people who can't manage to follow simple rules. Same goes to tailgaters.

~The girl actually using her blinkers
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Dear characters in my head,

I love that you're all clamoring for attention after a long, long hibernation, but seriously, you're making me ADD jumping between your story threads. But if it gets the threads out of my head then I guess I don't mind too much.

Inspirationally Yours,
Jaina
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My sweet chocolate covered strawberries,

I love you. That is all.

A Series of Letters

Dear U.S. Government,

I didn't believe it at first, but after calls with my mom. her tax guy and your automated system, I'd like to say thanks. I wouldn't have expected you to catch an error that gave me a much larger refund than I expected. I sure won't complain about it though, now that I'm confident it wasn't a mistake.

Thanks
~Jaina

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Dear Jillian Michaels,

Until I met you I didn't realize it was possible to love and hate a person so rapidly within the space of twenty minutes. I guess the important part is that it begins and ends with love, right?

Yours,
~Tired and a little sore

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Dear After-hours Support,

Mistakes happen, I get that. But when you continually screw up, it's on you. Take responsibility.

~Frustrated Technician

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Dear IT employee,

I can understand you installing IE8 the first time. I can maybe even let the second time slide. But my job description does not entail fixing willful stupidity when you call us because a web based system is not working and you've installed IE8. Again. This is the fifth time. There is no excuse. I'm going to start ignoring your calls. We don't have a fix for stupid.

~Wishing you would listen to instructions