A few months ago my mom and fmil and I went to look for my wedding dress. First store, four dresses later and we found the dress. I absolutely love it and feel like a princess when I wear it. I did not want to take it off. I nearly went back to the store the next week just to try it on again.
It wasn't supposed to come in so early, but I got an email about two weeks ago letting me know my special order had arrived. The downside is that they won't store it for me. I love my apartment, but it's a fairly small studio and I simply do not have anywhere to hang a wedding dress for 8 months. Timing is everything. My neck finally slipped out after first trying to make my head explode (I was very near asking the fiance for his drill to relieve the pressure). The symptoms had been bothering me long enough that I decided I needed to make a quick overnight run home to see my chiropractor. (he's one of my favorite people right now) It was instant relief when he made the necessary adjustment (same one as always, go figure, at least I'm consistent) Since I was going home anyways, I picked up my dress and took it to hang safely in the back bedroom at my grandparent's house.
I was on a tight schedule and didn't have time to try it on at the store. I am so grateful that I was in a hurry that afternoon. My Mom and Grama helped me try it on before my chiro appointment. It felt so good to get into the dress, even though I didn't have the undergarments that go with it. (added bonus: it fit perfectly) I cannot even begin to relate how special that moment was when my Grama and Papa first saw me in my wedding dress. It was such a wonderful, special moment that I will remember forever, trying on my wedding gown in the front bedroom at my grandparent's house. Magical. Precious. Unforgettable.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Farting Dog
The fiance and I spent the weekend at my parents house digging through (cleaning) my bedroom while my dad and older little brother were camping. My mom and I would like to turn it into a guest bedroom, but between all of my stuff and various things that she and others had tossed in there, it needed quite a bit of work. I gave myself three options: give away, trash, put away/box up/organize for later. It took all of Saturday and quite a bit of time today, but we managed to get it done. There is no way I'd have gotten through it without the fiance...he gave me the motivation when I was about ready to scream, and helped keep me on track. He even set up the frame for the bed my parents are going to put in there.
The weekend wasn't all work though. The fiance satiated our appetites with amazingly delicious meals: his special eggs (with veggies and meat mixed in), turkey wraps in whole wheat tortillas, amazing whole wheat pizza with a few special twists and buttermilk waffles with a touch of vanilla and cinnamon. We ate incredibly well, and my mom enjoyed the break from cooking. My grandparents were even able to join us for three meals, it was wonderful. :) My mom also rented The Proposal for us to watch Saturday night. What a great movie, we really enjoyed it. I definitely recommend it if you haven't yet seen it.
I'll leave you with the funniest story from the weekend. My parents' dog is pretty old (at least 14 years old) and she has what looks like doggie MS, she can move and stuff, but the nerves running to her back legs just aren't quite working properly. She's a Queensland though, so she's still eager to play and doesn't even seem to notice that she's having physical trouble. Since she was whining a lot Friday night and she and Kara weren't getting along very well this trip, we had moved her dog house upstairs to my mom's room for Saturday night. We were trying to get her upstairs (which she can still make on her own) but she just didn't seem to get that we were trying to get her up the stairs again. So for the second time that night I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. About 2/3's of the way up, she farted. (pretty sure I literally squeezed it out of her) My mom was a step or two behind me and was right in the firing zone there...and it stank. I forget her exact reaction, but I was laughing so hard I nearly dropped Angel. I managed to trip up the last two stairs and somehow managed to put the dog down gently without dropping her or hurting her before I ran into the wall at the top of the stairs. Luckily I got my hands out in front of me. It was a rather loud thud, I'm surprised I didn't wake up my little brother. I ended up sitting at the top of the stairs because I was laughing too hard to walk at this point. My mom got Angel into her house and we finally made it back downstairs, laughing the whole way down. I made it to right in front of the fiance (who witnessed the whole thing from downstairs) before I was on the floor again. There's something about ridiculous laughter that makes my legs and muscles not hold me up. I finally managed to stop laughing when the coughing started, but even that was kind of funny. (minus the part where I don't like feeling asthmatic) But it was by far the funniest story of the weekend.
The weekend wasn't all work though. The fiance satiated our appetites with amazingly delicious meals: his special eggs (with veggies and meat mixed in), turkey wraps in whole wheat tortillas, amazing whole wheat pizza with a few special twists and buttermilk waffles with a touch of vanilla and cinnamon. We ate incredibly well, and my mom enjoyed the break from cooking. My grandparents were even able to join us for three meals, it was wonderful. :) My mom also rented The Proposal for us to watch Saturday night. What a great movie, we really enjoyed it. I definitely recommend it if you haven't yet seen it.
I'll leave you with the funniest story from the weekend. My parents' dog is pretty old (at least 14 years old) and she has what looks like doggie MS, she can move and stuff, but the nerves running to her back legs just aren't quite working properly. She's a Queensland though, so she's still eager to play and doesn't even seem to notice that she's having physical trouble. Since she was whining a lot Friday night and she and Kara weren't getting along very well this trip, we had moved her dog house upstairs to my mom's room for Saturday night. We were trying to get her upstairs (which she can still make on her own) but she just didn't seem to get that we were trying to get her up the stairs again. So for the second time that night I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. About 2/3's of the way up, she farted. (pretty sure I literally squeezed it out of her) My mom was a step or two behind me and was right in the firing zone there...and it stank. I forget her exact reaction, but I was laughing so hard I nearly dropped Angel. I managed to trip up the last two stairs and somehow managed to put the dog down gently without dropping her or hurting her before I ran into the wall at the top of the stairs. Luckily I got my hands out in front of me. It was a rather loud thud, I'm surprised I didn't wake up my little brother. I ended up sitting at the top of the stairs because I was laughing too hard to walk at this point. My mom got Angel into her house and we finally made it back downstairs, laughing the whole way down. I made it to right in front of the fiance (who witnessed the whole thing from downstairs) before I was on the floor again. There's something about ridiculous laughter that makes my legs and muscles not hold me up. I finally managed to stop laughing when the coughing started, but even that was kind of funny. (minus the part where I don't like feeling asthmatic) But it was by far the funniest story of the weekend.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Inspiration
I wasn't excited to start my second conducting class yesterday. I didn't really want to go.
But I am SO happy that I did.
I have THE BEST professor ever. The way he talks about music and conducting, his philosophies and styles, they just...fit. I am SO excited about this semester, I just know I am going to learn so much, I'm already so inspired. And the British accent doesn't hurt things either. My professor has been in America for about a week, mine was the first class he's ever taught here. He was based in London, and has been conducting all over Europe. And he's my new conducting teacher! I am beyond thrilled, I couldn't wait to get off the trolley and into my car so I could call my Papa and tell him all about it, I was SO excited! This guy, well, he GETS it. In a way that no other professor has ever gotten it before. I'm so thankful I decided to take this class, I think it's going to turn out to be a legendary decision. :)
I'm off in less than an hour. The bf and I are driving up to my parent's house for the weekend. I'm planning to help my mom get through my old bedroom so that we can finally make it into a guest room. The bf is planning to add the few necessary extra bolts and such to the patio to get final approval from the city before we can add the roofing tiles. My dad has baseball tryouts most of tomorrow, but I'll still get to spend some good time with him this weekend. I'm really looking forward to curling up on the couch with my mom to watch a movie or two sometime over the weekend.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
But I am SO happy that I did.
I have THE BEST professor ever. The way he talks about music and conducting, his philosophies and styles, they just...fit. I am SO excited about this semester, I just know I am going to learn so much, I'm already so inspired. And the British accent doesn't hurt things either. My professor has been in America for about a week, mine was the first class he's ever taught here. He was based in London, and has been conducting all over Europe. And he's my new conducting teacher! I am beyond thrilled, I couldn't wait to get off the trolley and into my car so I could call my Papa and tell him all about it, I was SO excited! This guy, well, he GETS it. In a way that no other professor has ever gotten it before. I'm so thankful I decided to take this class, I think it's going to turn out to be a legendary decision. :)
I'm off in less than an hour. The bf and I are driving up to my parent's house for the weekend. I'm planning to help my mom get through my old bedroom so that we can finally make it into a guest room. The bf is planning to add the few necessary extra bolts and such to the patio to get final approval from the city before we can add the roofing tiles. My dad has baseball tryouts most of tomorrow, but I'll still get to spend some good time with him this weekend. I'm really looking forward to curling up on the couch with my mom to watch a movie or two sometime over the weekend.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Mamma Mia
This has to be one of the best movies I've ever seen. The bf took me on an impromptu date tonight, part of which was seeing this movie. I even leaned over during the movie and told him it was the best movie I'd ever seen.Yes, it's cheesy at points. Yes, it had me crying I was laughing so hard at other points. I fell in love with ABBA music back in junior high/high school when A*Teens came out and redid a lot of their songs and mimicked their style. My mom loved ABBA, so she and I share that. I've loved Amanda Seyfried since her role in Veronica Mars. I think she was a perfect cast for this (of couse, admittedly having never seen the stage production) Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth were all wonderful too, and so was the rest of the cast.
I have to say, I'm loving this trend of putting musicals to the big screen. I know that some people are completely against it, but it's made me fall even further in love with Broadway shows, and in my opinion, brings amazing shows to people who otherwise would not have the opportunity to experience them. I mean, Phantom of the Opera? I saw the movie first and fell in love with it, though admittedly it was PHENOMENAL when I finally saw it on stage about a month ago. I had no clue what Hairspray was when I went to see it with my friend last summer, and completely fell in love with that. And how could I forget Rent? And now I've fallen in love with Mamma Mia. I swear, I need to go to New York again (finally) and just basically LIVE on Broadway for a few weeks and see EVERYTHING. Seriously.
I will warn you that this one does get a little cheesy and possibly even over the top at times...but come on, it's a musical. It's a comedy. It was absolutely wonderful. Also? I want to visit Greece...even more than when I watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Incidentally, I also want to see the newest movie of that. But really, though the first one was GREAT, read the books, they're even better...same with the newest version of Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley), read the book, it's AMAZING. And if you have to go for a movie, block out some time for the A&E version with Colin Firth. It's about as true to the text as you can get, and hello...5 hours of watching Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy? Need I say more?
La-di-da....oh hey, there's my train of thought come round to pick me up. Mamma Mia was amazing. I can't wait for it to come out on dvd. I'm rather disappointed that my A*Teens cd is at home and not in my cd case down here. I should also borrow my mom's ABBA cd next time I'm home...I never did put it on my computer. Also, thank you so much to everyone for the prayers and warm wishes for my mom. She is doing a lot better, and I actually got to see her for a while on Sunday. (we had a half-birthday lunch for my Great-Grams) It was relieving to be able to see firsthand that she was doing alright. And I have it on good authority that my wonderful little Angel puppy is doing quite well.
Final aside, I've been kind of mia in the blog world recently. Work has been crazy and I've barely been home. We're all gearing up for the freshmen move-in and beginning of school. But I'm slowly catching up on my blog reader and will try to get back to posting more regularly.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Brick Walls
It's really interesting how life has a way of pulling you in so many different directions. It's also incredibly frustrating when things are going along so nicely and then life slams you into that brick wall that came from out of nowhere and leaves you with the cartoon birds circling your head, wondering what happened and where the heck that brick wall came from.
Last Thursday? I hit one of those walls. And come Monday, just when I thought I'd shaken off the birds and gotten back to normal? I slammed into its twin brother. Commence the cartoon birds, only this time twice as many of them. I played it off Monday, had a wonderful book club evening, and seemed to have escaped that brick wall unscathed. Funny thing is, when we don't feel the pain? That's usually when it's bad and going to hit us the worst. Tuesday was the day it happened to catch up with me. Limited patience for the mindless issues we sometimes get here at technical support. Working on projects that I didn't quite understand and having supervisors inaccessible to answer questions made for an even lower frustration threshold. It took all my concentration and will power not to go crazy.
My family has a wonderful dog, have I ever mentioned her? Her name is Angel, and while I sometimes questioned my intelligence in christening her with such a name, as sometimes she doesn't live up to it, she definitely made me love her even more Monday. My older little brother told me the story, and I wanted to buy Angel a steak when I heard it. See, she's a very protective dog. She's little, a small Queensland Healer...it took a German Shepard sized shot to put her under to get stitches when she cut her mouth on a stick...but she protects like a Great Dane. My brother happened to answer the phone Monday afternoon when I called to check in, and he told me a story about how Angel reacted to the morning. She does like strange people in her house, particularly when she's separated by a glass window. Apparently when the paramedics came into the house (and I guess there were several of them), she went crazy. All she could see were strange men and my little brothers. My mom was upstairs waiting for them, out of sight of my precious puppy. My brother described Angel backing all the way up to the brick wall, and launching herself at the double paned glass slider...multiple times. As I reasoned for my brother, all she could see was a bunch of strange men in there with the boys, she couldn't see my mom, so all she could think was that they were going to hurt the boys, and by golly she was going to break through the window. Apparently the boys were able to calm her down through the glass, though she gave some pretty serious warning growls when the paramedics came downstairs helping my mom. She was dizzy and having trouble feeling her feet, and then began to think about the stories of women who missed signs of heart attacks, and there she was, home alone with my two little brothers. She called my grandparents, and the paramedics, just to be safe. The doctor at the E.R., incidentally the one who treated her concussion after the accident, diagnosed some sort of vertigo, and sent her to our normal doctor after an EKG confirmed that her heart was fine. Our doctor determined that she hadn't really recovered from the migraine that triggered the panic attack last week, and that probably had something to do with the vertigo. How did i find out about it? Two quick phone calls from my dad's phone, with my mom asking for my grandparents' cell number. Apparently they'd passed a road closure for an accident near their house, and my mom couldn't reach them at home. Turned out that they were on their way back from lunch with the boys and were all safe and sound. My mom called back to tell me why she'd needed the number and to tell me about that morning's events. I love my dog, she really is an Angel. She was bound and determined to break through that glass to protect her family.
Unsurprisingly, I was rather off on Tuesday. (Monday night was book club, so I did okay then) Survived the day and then went home to hide and unwind. Decided to work on art projects, painting, because it's therapeutic and calming. And trust me, after Monday? I needed something calming. I don't usually get so on edge, but it does happen occasionally.
Somewhere in my therapeutic crafting preparation I decided that I was not satisfied with my art supplies, and decided I needed to go shopping. Don't worry, the rational side of my brain set a spending limit before I left, and I didn't hit it. (I was a whole $8 - $18 under...the range was $50 - $60) I found it comforting that they had already started stocking their Christmas supplies. Art always calms me down. Christmas art even more so. I'm eager to go back and get some more Christmas art projects. (yes, I know it's August)
I have this really cool advent calendar that my aunt bought me when I was little. (it is extra special because my aunt has since passed away, nearly 12 years ago I believe now) It's a wooden box type gadget, with two rows of little cubbies with numbered flaps. Each of these hides a little ornament. There is a wooden tree above with little nails in it to hang the ornaments on. You put one ornament on the tree each day, and on Christmas Eve, there is a wooden star that slips over the top. My brothers absolutely love my calendar, and take turns hanging the ornaments while I have been away at school. My mom has always wanted to get similar calendars for my brothers, but they just don't make them like this anymore. Needless to say, at some point I would like to take my calendar with me, but I don't want to disappoint my brothers. So, in my crazy impulse stress shopping, I devised a plan to recreate copies of my calendar. I finally found the supplies, and purchased the mini ornaments (which were the inspiration for the project) and have begun making the calendars. I'll have to take pictures and post as I complete it, it really is turning out well. I'm very excited. I've decided to give the boys the calendars as Christmas gifts, and then take my advent calendar for next year, since they'll have their own.
My mom is doing better. I've been talking to her every morning on my way to work, and most afternoons. She's more frustrated than anything with all of this, which I can completely understand. I'm warring between frustration, worry and anger. I'm working to tone down the anger part though. I know she'll be okay, I just hate to have to see her struggle or be in pain or be frustrated. I'm praying and I appreciate the prayers I know she's been getting from everyone. I just wish she would be better already. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe it's a test to learn patience. I don't know. We'll see. And in the meantime? I'll be praying and working on art projects. And of course, trying to manage to avoid running into any more brick walls anytime soon. I'm at the point of giving each of those little cartoon birds a name.
Last Thursday? I hit one of those walls. And come Monday, just when I thought I'd shaken off the birds and gotten back to normal? I slammed into its twin brother. Commence the cartoon birds, only this time twice as many of them. I played it off Monday, had a wonderful book club evening, and seemed to have escaped that brick wall unscathed. Funny thing is, when we don't feel the pain? That's usually when it's bad and going to hit us the worst. Tuesday was the day it happened to catch up with me. Limited patience for the mindless issues we sometimes get here at technical support. Working on projects that I didn't quite understand and having supervisors inaccessible to answer questions made for an even lower frustration threshold. It took all my concentration and will power not to go crazy.
My family has a wonderful dog, have I ever mentioned her? Her name is Angel, and while I sometimes questioned my intelligence in christening her with such a name, as sometimes she doesn't live up to it, she definitely made me love her even more Monday. My older little brother told me the story, and I wanted to buy Angel a steak when I heard it. See, she's a very protective dog. She's little, a small Queensland Healer...it took a German Shepard sized shot to put her under to get stitches when she cut her mouth on a stick...but she protects like a Great Dane. My brother happened to answer the phone Monday afternoon when I called to check in, and he told me a story about how Angel reacted to the morning. She does like strange people in her house, particularly when she's separated by a glass window. Apparently when the paramedics came into the house (and I guess there were several of them), she went crazy. All she could see were strange men and my little brothers. My mom was upstairs waiting for them, out of sight of my precious puppy. My brother described Angel backing all the way up to the brick wall, and launching herself at the double paned glass slider...multiple times. As I reasoned for my brother, all she could see was a bunch of strange men in there with the boys, she couldn't see my mom, so all she could think was that they were going to hurt the boys, and by golly she was going to break through the window. Apparently the boys were able to calm her down through the glass, though she gave some pretty serious warning growls when the paramedics came downstairs helping my mom. She was dizzy and having trouble feeling her feet, and then began to think about the stories of women who missed signs of heart attacks, and there she was, home alone with my two little brothers. She called my grandparents, and the paramedics, just to be safe. The doctor at the E.R., incidentally the one who treated her concussion after the accident, diagnosed some sort of vertigo, and sent her to our normal doctor after an EKG confirmed that her heart was fine. Our doctor determined that she hadn't really recovered from the migraine that triggered the panic attack last week, and that probably had something to do with the vertigo. How did i find out about it? Two quick phone calls from my dad's phone, with my mom asking for my grandparents' cell number. Apparently they'd passed a road closure for an accident near their house, and my mom couldn't reach them at home. Turned out that they were on their way back from lunch with the boys and were all safe and sound. My mom called back to tell me why she'd needed the number and to tell me about that morning's events. I love my dog, she really is an Angel. She was bound and determined to break through that glass to protect her family.
Unsurprisingly, I was rather off on Tuesday. (Monday night was book club, so I did okay then) Survived the day and then went home to hide and unwind. Decided to work on art projects, painting, because it's therapeutic and calming. And trust me, after Monday? I needed something calming. I don't usually get so on edge, but it does happen occasionally.
Somewhere in my therapeutic crafting preparation I decided that I was not satisfied with my art supplies, and decided I needed to go shopping. Don't worry, the rational side of my brain set a spending limit before I left, and I didn't hit it. (I was a whole $8 - $18 under...the range was $50 - $60) I found it comforting that they had already started stocking their Christmas supplies. Art always calms me down. Christmas art even more so. I'm eager to go back and get some more Christmas art projects. (yes, I know it's August)
I have this really cool advent calendar that my aunt bought me when I was little. (it is extra special because my aunt has since passed away, nearly 12 years ago I believe now) It's a wooden box type gadget, with two rows of little cubbies with numbered flaps. Each of these hides a little ornament. There is a wooden tree above with little nails in it to hang the ornaments on. You put one ornament on the tree each day, and on Christmas Eve, there is a wooden star that slips over the top. My brothers absolutely love my calendar, and take turns hanging the ornaments while I have been away at school. My mom has always wanted to get similar calendars for my brothers, but they just don't make them like this anymore. Needless to say, at some point I would like to take my calendar with me, but I don't want to disappoint my brothers. So, in my crazy impulse stress shopping, I devised a plan to recreate copies of my calendar. I finally found the supplies, and purchased the mini ornaments (which were the inspiration for the project) and have begun making the calendars. I'll have to take pictures and post as I complete it, it really is turning out well. I'm very excited. I've decided to give the boys the calendars as Christmas gifts, and then take my advent calendar for next year, since they'll have their own.
My mom is doing better. I've been talking to her every morning on my way to work, and most afternoons. She's more frustrated than anything with all of this, which I can completely understand. I'm warring between frustration, worry and anger. I'm working to tone down the anger part though. I know she'll be okay, I just hate to have to see her struggle or be in pain or be frustrated. I'm praying and I appreciate the prayers I know she's been getting from everyone. I just wish she would be better already. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe it's a test to learn patience. I don't know. We'll see. And in the meantime? I'll be praying and working on art projects. And of course, trying to manage to avoid running into any more brick walls anytime soon. I'm at the point of giving each of those little cartoon birds a name.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
PhotoStory Friday: Heaven's Light
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
"Heaven's Light"
I took this photo back a few years ago at the San Diego Mission with my family. We were getting ready to leave, and my brother and I happened to peak through this gate, and found this beautiful piece of paradise. A long stretch of grass bathed in sunlight, surrounding this beautifully adorned cross. I discovered later that I had managed to capture the beauty of the sunlight bathing this serene scene. This has long been one of my favorite photos that I have taken.
It seemed particularly appropriate as I am finding my faith again. I took a slight hiatus, simply didn't make it a priority. But God works in mysterious ways, and though we may not always understand His plan, He does have one. This photo shows faith and beauty to me.
(fair warning: it gets long after this point and I won't be offended if you don't read beyond this part. Bit of a day, and I just needed to get some stuff out of my head. It decided to spill out here as I was typing.)
It also provides me a sense of peace. Which is something I can use tonight. It was several years ago. I was at my aunt's, watching my cousins the day before their birthday party. I'd taken the train up the day before the party to help set things up and to keep an eye on the kids while my aunt took my uncle to get something done on his eye. The phone rang, not an unusual occurrence, one of my cousins answered it. It was my dad, and he wanted to talk to me. I will never forget the way he began the conversation. "Hi, everyone's okay, there's no need to worry." Pause. Long pause. The longer the pause, the bigger the but that comes after it. My mom had been in an accident with my littlest brother, on their way to pick up my other brother from school. My littlest brother was thankfully completely unharmed, they think he was asleep when it happened. He made friends with the firemen. (it happened right outside the firestation) My mom was in the hospital with a severe concussion. She had been going in a mental loop for hours. She kept asking the same questions. My Dad and my Grandpa were with her, the boys were with my Grama at their house. It was a bad concussion, and they were keeping her overnight for observation. They (obviously) wouldn't be coming to the party the next day. My dad told me I didn't need to/shouldn't come home. In hindsight, it was probably a better idea...I wouldn't have left and I'd have missed my classes and all that nonsense. And I wouldn't have cared.
I got to talk to my mom the next day after she'd left the hospital. They stopped at my grandparents, and she felt safe there, so they all spent the night there, where my mom was doing okay. (my grandparents are the most amazing people you will ever meet) It was hard to talk to her, but I put on my brave voice for her. She sounded tired and small. Her head hurt and she was in pain. But I was relieved all the same to hear her voice for myself. I wasn't old enough to drink (and I'm one of the people who actually waited until her 21st birthday to take a sip of alcohol) but I felt the need to be destructive and careless when I got home that night. My roommate at the time (and a wonderful friend still), understood, in her way. So, as a remedy, we watched the most violent, action packed movie we could borrow (which, incidentally, was one or two of the Bourne movies...yeah, I know, I live wild) and drank incredible amounts of Dr. Pepper. (yes, what a rebel, right? If I'd been 21 I'm sorry to admit I probably would have been drinking something slightly stronger)
Believe me when I tell you that I am one of the happiest, calmest, optimistic people you will ever meet. Sunshiny disposition and all. Knowing that, believe me when I say I have NEVER been so angry in my life. I several times was so angry I was shaking. The woman who ran the stop sign going over 40 mph and slammed into my mom's van, had the nerve to LIE to the police. And the moronic officer BELIEVED her. My brother, who was about 4 at the time could have told you it was a PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE story, if you actually opened your damn eyes and looked at the accident scene. And said officer tried to question my mom. In the ER. While she was strapped to a board with a SERIOUS head injury. While my grandpa and dad were I think checking her in. And then questioned her honesty and integrity because she couldn't answer simple information like what day it was. Later, they sent another officer, an angel, to re-measure the scene. Like my four year old brother could have told them, he reported the truth. (which he said he didn't even need to do, because it was obvious what had happened) I have never really wished evil on anyone. But I wanted so badly to see the bitch who had run the stop sign going well over the speed limit, given my mom and concussion and endangered my baby brother at the same time, and had the nerve to LIE about it! I wanted to see her, and look her in the eye, and punch her out. To be honest, I still wouldn't mind doing so. Given the chance, I think I'd throw my first punch ever in my life. A few inches, maybe a foot, and she would have hit my mom's door straight on. I saw the pictures. My mom has no memory between leaving my grandparent's house and being in the hospital many hours later.
Why is this coming up now? It's been nearly 3 years or so since this happened. Well, today my mom had a bit of a panic episode. And I know they all downplayed it when they talked to me. She was in the parking lot next to the hospital to go in for some normal test or whatever. And my grandpa had to come and get her and take her home. My dad was in with a client and couldn't answer his phone. She told me on Google talk while I was at work this afternoon. (after my grandpa had brought her home and stayed with them until my dad got home) She tries so hard, but she still has a lot of after affects from the accident. All because some woman was speeding and couldn't be bothered to stop for a big red stop sign. She gets migraines now, and gets horrible pain in her body sometimes. Incapacitating. And she has two very active little boys to keep up with daily. (they're very good though, and I know they are extra helpful when she's having a tough time) She's always gone to the chiropractor since she was in a head on accident with a drunk driver when I was tiny. (I wasn't in the car) But that used to be once every month or two. Now? Sometimes she has to go twice a week just to function. And she tries to lighten it up, play it off, but she wasn't okay for a while after the accident, and sometimes she's still not okay. And it makes me SO angry. Not as angry as I was at the time, but still pretty bad. Because that bitch broke my mommy. Childish as that sounds. She did. And I hate it. Yes, the rational side of me knows that punching the woman who did it in the face would not make my mom any better, and it probably wouldn't make me feel too great either. But I still want to. Given the chance, I think I might. Or at least slap her very, very hard.
Most days my mom is fine. She seems to go in cycles, she knows it. It just makes things very hard, and she hates it. She knows that it sucks, and it's not fun to live with. She doesn't like being broken, but she doesn't know how to fix it. I hate that she has to learn how to deal with it. She shouldn't have to. She shouldn't be broken. I probably won't know how bad today's panic episode was. But even from the sugar coated versions I've gotten, I can tell it was pretty bad. I really kind of want to go home right now. But I have work in the morning and it takes 3 hours to get home, and me missing work wouldn't help her. It would only stress her out. I get to see her next weekend at least, which helps. This is probably one of those moments I need to just breathe, pray and go to sleep. I don't like being angry. But I am. Every time my mom hurts because of this, I get angry. Because it was completely avoidable. And none of it is her fault, but she's the one who has to live with it. And it's not fair. I know life is unfair. But this sucks.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this post to become a novel, I didn't mean for it to go this long. The photo makes me feel peaceful, so it seemed appropriate for today. It's just such simple beauty.
It seemed particularly appropriate as I am finding my faith again. I took a slight hiatus, simply didn't make it a priority. But God works in mysterious ways, and though we may not always understand His plan, He does have one. This photo shows faith and beauty to me.
(fair warning: it gets long after this point and I won't be offended if you don't read beyond this part. Bit of a day, and I just needed to get some stuff out of my head. It decided to spill out here as I was typing.)
It also provides me a sense of peace. Which is something I can use tonight. It was several years ago. I was at my aunt's, watching my cousins the day before their birthday party. I'd taken the train up the day before the party to help set things up and to keep an eye on the kids while my aunt took my uncle to get something done on his eye. The phone rang, not an unusual occurrence, one of my cousins answered it. It was my dad, and he wanted to talk to me. I will never forget the way he began the conversation. "Hi, everyone's okay, there's no need to worry." Pause. Long pause. The longer the pause, the bigger the but that comes after it. My mom had been in an accident with my littlest brother, on their way to pick up my other brother from school. My littlest brother was thankfully completely unharmed, they think he was asleep when it happened. He made friends with the firemen. (it happened right outside the firestation) My mom was in the hospital with a severe concussion. She had been going in a mental loop for hours. She kept asking the same questions. My Dad and my Grandpa were with her, the boys were with my Grama at their house. It was a bad concussion, and they were keeping her overnight for observation. They (obviously) wouldn't be coming to the party the next day. My dad told me I didn't need to/shouldn't come home. In hindsight, it was probably a better idea...I wouldn't have left and I'd have missed my classes and all that nonsense. And I wouldn't have cared.
I got to talk to my mom the next day after she'd left the hospital. They stopped at my grandparents, and she felt safe there, so they all spent the night there, where my mom was doing okay. (my grandparents are the most amazing people you will ever meet) It was hard to talk to her, but I put on my brave voice for her. She sounded tired and small. Her head hurt and she was in pain. But I was relieved all the same to hear her voice for myself. I wasn't old enough to drink (and I'm one of the people who actually waited until her 21st birthday to take a sip of alcohol) but I felt the need to be destructive and careless when I got home that night. My roommate at the time (and a wonderful friend still), understood, in her way. So, as a remedy, we watched the most violent, action packed movie we could borrow (which, incidentally, was one or two of the Bourne movies...yeah, I know, I live wild) and drank incredible amounts of Dr. Pepper. (yes, what a rebel, right? If I'd been 21 I'm sorry to admit I probably would have been drinking something slightly stronger)
Believe me when I tell you that I am one of the happiest, calmest, optimistic people you will ever meet. Sunshiny disposition and all. Knowing that, believe me when I say I have NEVER been so angry in my life. I several times was so angry I was shaking. The woman who ran the stop sign going over 40 mph and slammed into my mom's van, had the nerve to LIE to the police. And the moronic officer BELIEVED her. My brother, who was about 4 at the time could have told you it was a PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE story, if you actually opened your damn eyes and looked at the accident scene. And said officer tried to question my mom. In the ER. While she was strapped to a board with a SERIOUS head injury. While my grandpa and dad were I think checking her in. And then questioned her honesty and integrity because she couldn't answer simple information like what day it was. Later, they sent another officer, an angel, to re-measure the scene. Like my four year old brother could have told them, he reported the truth. (which he said he didn't even need to do, because it was obvious what had happened) I have never really wished evil on anyone. But I wanted so badly to see the bitch who had run the stop sign going well over the speed limit, given my mom and concussion and endangered my baby brother at the same time, and had the nerve to LIE about it! I wanted to see her, and look her in the eye, and punch her out. To be honest, I still wouldn't mind doing so. Given the chance, I think I'd throw my first punch ever in my life. A few inches, maybe a foot, and she would have hit my mom's door straight on. I saw the pictures. My mom has no memory between leaving my grandparent's house and being in the hospital many hours later.
Why is this coming up now? It's been nearly 3 years or so since this happened. Well, today my mom had a bit of a panic episode. And I know they all downplayed it when they talked to me. She was in the parking lot next to the hospital to go in for some normal test or whatever. And my grandpa had to come and get her and take her home. My dad was in with a client and couldn't answer his phone. She told me on Google talk while I was at work this afternoon. (after my grandpa had brought her home and stayed with them until my dad got home) She tries so hard, but she still has a lot of after affects from the accident. All because some woman was speeding and couldn't be bothered to stop for a big red stop sign. She gets migraines now, and gets horrible pain in her body sometimes. Incapacitating. And she has two very active little boys to keep up with daily. (they're very good though, and I know they are extra helpful when she's having a tough time) She's always gone to the chiropractor since she was in a head on accident with a drunk driver when I was tiny. (I wasn't in the car) But that used to be once every month or two. Now? Sometimes she has to go twice a week just to function. And she tries to lighten it up, play it off, but she wasn't okay for a while after the accident, and sometimes she's still not okay. And it makes me SO angry. Not as angry as I was at the time, but still pretty bad. Because that bitch broke my mommy. Childish as that sounds. She did. And I hate it. Yes, the rational side of me knows that punching the woman who did it in the face would not make my mom any better, and it probably wouldn't make me feel too great either. But I still want to. Given the chance, I think I might. Or at least slap her very, very hard.
Most days my mom is fine. She seems to go in cycles, she knows it. It just makes things very hard, and she hates it. She knows that it sucks, and it's not fun to live with. She doesn't like being broken, but she doesn't know how to fix it. I hate that she has to learn how to deal with it. She shouldn't have to. She shouldn't be broken. I probably won't know how bad today's panic episode was. But even from the sugar coated versions I've gotten, I can tell it was pretty bad. I really kind of want to go home right now. But I have work in the morning and it takes 3 hours to get home, and me missing work wouldn't help her. It would only stress her out. I get to see her next weekend at least, which helps. This is probably one of those moments I need to just breathe, pray and go to sleep. I don't like being angry. But I am. Every time my mom hurts because of this, I get angry. Because it was completely avoidable. And none of it is her fault, but she's the one who has to live with it. And it's not fair. I know life is unfair. But this sucks.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this post to become a novel, I didn't mean for it to go this long. The photo makes me feel peaceful, so it seemed appropriate for today. It's just such simple beauty.
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Happy Birthday Mom!!!
I know my mom doesn't read my blog, she doesn't even know it exists. But nevertheless, I'd like to wish her a happy birthday here anyways! My mom is one of the best people you will ever meet. She's beyond smart, and has always done so much for me. I couldn't even begin to repay her for all the sacrifices she has made for me over the years. I love her more than words can express, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again soon. (it's been a few weeks)
Sometime this morning she should be getting these flowers:
Sometime this morning she should be getting these flowers:
Aren't they beautiful? I fell in love with the cup and saucer. I figured they were very unique and she would have a nice tea cup and saucer afterwards, rather than another vase to add to her already large collection. Her main birthday present isn't ready yet, but since I'm not getting to see her this weekend, I'm off the hook and have a little extra time to finish it. I'm doing a mini scrapbook/memory book with pictures and fond memories. I'm totally going to make her cry. (in a good way!) Happy Birthday Mom!! I love you SO much!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
My Mom is a Genius
This is not a surprise, it's something I've known for years. She proved it again last night when I called her and began the phone call asking if her whine quota had been filled for the day, or if I could whine about my head about to split in two. She told me some things to try, suggested it might be a caffeine thing. I told her that someone had mentioned that, but I really hadn't been drinking any caffeine in the past few weeks, so I didn't think that could be it. She told me that it doesn't take much sometimes, and to drive thru somewhere and get an iced tea on my way home. And then the lights went off in my head. Iced tea. Of course. I felt SO stupid. Because Sunday morning as we prepared to build the patio, my mom brewed some iced tea for us. She and I LOVE our iced tea. It is also pretty much all I drank ALL DAY Sunday. Throw in the chai frappuccinos she bought us as a special treat that morning, and I consumed a LOT of caffeine. This week? I've had next to nothing. Tuesday I had the green caffeine boost in my Jamba Juice, and my head didn't hurt much at all. Which is a much better explanation than the exercise correlation I was spouting off yesterday.
I am already drinking some iced tea this morning, and so far I'm doing just fine. My mommy is very smart and I knew that she'd tell me what to do to make it all better. :) Yay for no headaches! They are not fun, I do NOT recommend them. I hope you all have a lovely, headache-free Thursday!
I am already drinking some iced tea this morning, and so far I'm doing just fine. My mommy is very smart and I knew that she'd tell me what to do to make it all better. :) Yay for no headaches! They are not fun, I do NOT recommend them. I hope you all have a lovely, headache-free Thursday!
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