Several Letters

To the two morons in the street,

One, you were j-walking. Yes, most of us have done it at some point in our lives. It doesn't make it any less stupid. Two, you were about 15 feet from the stoplight and a crosswalk. Seriously? Just walk the extra few feet. If you decide to go ahead and do it anyway, then do it quickly. Do not saunter at a snails pace across the pavement. You do not look cool swaggering across the street in the face of oncoming traffic. You look like a complete moron without a drop of common sense in your body.

Questioning your brain function,
The girl in the car who very nearly almost considered running you over, even though she doesn't like Darwin
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Miss Last minute,

Let's be honest, we both know you were going to merge. You had a ridiculously long distance to merge over, yet you waited until you were about to run into a sign to turn on your blinker and try, forcing me to slam on my breaks to let you over. You are lucky I'm nice.

~The girl glaring at you in your rear-view mirror
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Dear Aunt Flo,

I hate you. Make up your mind or go away.

Love,
Jaina
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To everyone who drives a car,

They have this remarkable new-fangled technology to let other drives know when you're going to change lanes or turn. They're called BLINKERS. They're stupid simple to turn on and you are LEGALLY required to do so. Am I the only one who passed driver's ed? You are not exempt, nor are you more important than anyone else on the road. If you don't use your blinker, don't be surprised when I speed up to not let you over. I strongly dislike people who can't manage to follow simple rules. Same goes to tailgaters.

~The girl actually using her blinkers
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Dear characters in my head,

I love that you're all clamoring for attention after a long, long hibernation, but seriously, you're making me ADD jumping between your story threads. But if it gets the threads out of my head then I guess I don't mind too much.

Inspirationally Yours,
Jaina
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My sweet chocolate covered strawberries,

I love you. That is all.

The Farting Dog

The fiance and I spent the weekend at my parents house digging through (cleaning) my bedroom while my dad and older little brother were camping. My mom and I would like to turn it into a guest bedroom, but between all of my stuff and various things that she and others had tossed in there, it needed quite a bit of work. I gave myself three options: give away, trash, put away/box up/organize for later. It took all of Saturday and quite a bit of time today, but we managed to get it done. There is no way I'd have gotten through it without the fiance...he gave me the motivation when I was about ready to scream, and helped keep me on track. He even set up the frame for the bed my parents are going to put in there.

The weekend wasn't all work though. The fiance satiated our appetites with amazingly delicious meals: his special eggs (with veggies and meat mixed in), turkey wraps in whole wheat tortillas, amazing whole wheat pizza with a few special twists and buttermilk waffles with a touch of vanilla and cinnamon. We ate incredibly well, and my mom enjoyed the break from cooking. My grandparents were even able to join us for three meals, it was wonderful. :) My mom also rented The Proposal for us to watch Saturday night. What a great movie, we really enjoyed it. I definitely recommend it if you haven't yet seen it.

I'll leave you with the funniest story from the weekend. My parents' dog is pretty old (at least 14 years old) and she has what looks like doggie MS, she can move and stuff, but the nerves running to her back legs just aren't quite working properly. She's a Queensland though, so she's still eager to play and doesn't even seem to notice that she's having physical trouble. Since she was whining a lot Friday night and she and Kara weren't getting along very well this trip, we had moved her dog house upstairs to my mom's room for Saturday night. We were trying to get her upstairs (which she can still make on her own) but she just didn't seem to get that we were trying to get her up the stairs again. So for the second time that night I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. About 2/3's of the way up, she farted. (pretty sure I literally squeezed it out of her) My mom was a step or two behind me and was right in the firing zone there...and it stank. I forget her exact reaction, but I was laughing so hard I nearly dropped Angel. I managed to trip up the last two stairs and somehow managed to put the dog down gently without dropping her or hurting her before I ran into the wall at the top of the stairs. Luckily I got my hands out in front of me. It was a rather loud thud, I'm surprised I didn't wake up my little brother. I ended up sitting at the top of the stairs because I was laughing too hard to walk at this point. My mom got Angel into her house and we finally made it back downstairs, laughing the whole way down. I made it to right in front of the fiance (who witnessed the whole thing from downstairs) before I was on the floor again. There's something about ridiculous laughter that makes my legs and muscles not hold me up. I finally managed to stop laughing when the coughing started, but even that was kind of funny. (minus the part where I don't like feeling asthmatic) But it was by far the funniest story of the weekend.

The Antidote

I've done it. I've found the antidote to stressful phone calls, frustrating users and general stupidity. One of our desktop techs had the link in his away status message on Google Talk this morning. I've been laughing for the past hour and a half. Non-stop. I sent it to the others in the office...we've been linking each other back and forth. The best part is that we could probably fill our own site with this stuff. Priceless. This is definitely the antidote to counteract everything.

Go, laugh, enjoy. http://notalwaysright.com/

So Easily Amused...

The bf's mom sent this to us a few weeks ago. I found the clip on YouTube. I shared it with my boss, Lily, and subsequently the whole office saw it and enjoyed a nice laugh. It's so true that you can buy a kid a toy with all the bells and whistles...and they'll spend hours playing with the box it came in. Or, in this case, the paper wrapping...