Friday, November 14, 2008

Sigh of Relief

I finally snapped out of my funk last night. I ended up taking a mental health afternoon yesterday after my class. I was too out of it and really just wanted to go home. Later on in the day the bf came over and we went to this wine place about a mile from my apartment where he was hosting a Young Adult wine tasting event for our church group. We had some wine and got to talk (we were there a few hours early to save space for our group) We talked about the holiday stuff and how things might work in the future. We came up with several scenarios, the first was planning a specific time to do our Thanksgiving with his parents, like, the weekend before. And that will be ours. And at least for Christmas, his parents could totally come and join in my family's celebration, because as the bf pointed out, it's WAY easier for the two of them to travel and join us than for my entire family to go somewhere. That will work with Christmas up at my grandparents house, but for other holidays it might be difficult just in terms of space because my Aunt's and Uncle's houses aren't super big. My mom DID invite his parents up for Thanksgiving since it's at my house, but they aren't going to come this time. They are planning to go over to the bf's paternal grandparents for a bit. I feel MUCH better about everything now. The bf's mom was also having a bad night when this happened, so it got blown up a little bigger than it actually was. (and to reiterate, I REALLY like his parents, they're wonderful and nice)

Thank you all so much for your support and words of encouragement, you really made me feel better about everything. I hope you all have wonderful weekends!


8 comments:

SuperCoolMom said...

Oh wow. I just got caught up on your Holiday drama. I didn't even read everyone else's comments, but this will probably be more of the same...I think it happens in every family. The first year I was married we went to my in-laws for Christmas in another state. They had giblets in the stuffing. They didn't do Santa right. They slept in until 10, ate, and then unwrapped gifts. I went in the closet and cried to my Mom on the phone. My in-laws thought I was a spoiled brat. It will all work out in the end. Be kind and flexible and hope for the same in return. (((Hugs)))

Donna said...

Thank you for visiting my blog, Living for the Line, and for leaving such encouraging words. I appreciate your prayers. Have a great weekend!

OHmommy said...

It took us years to figure out our holidays. And we are still working on them. ;)

Cheryl said...

I'm just happy it worked out so well. I'm also glad you took some time off for yourself. So important to do that. I never got the idea you didn't like the bf's parents, just the opposite. I could tell it was an issue of wanting to be with your family. You so blessed to have such a wonderful and close family. But, I know you know that. Bottom line, so glad you are feeling better about things.
(((HUGS)))

Petunia said...

Jaina ~~ I'm glad you figured it all out! Don't be surprised if this becomes an issue again after you are married and have children. Even though you see your inlaws all week long, they will not be happy if you take your children to see your family for every holiday. It wouldn't be fair for them to be alone every holiday. They are going to want to see the 2 of you (and their grandchildren) on Thanksgiving and on Christmas occasionally. :)
xoxo Petunia

Renie Burghardt said...

I'm glad you kind of worked things out for now, Jaina. A little cooperation on everyone's part will work wonders.

Have a nice Sunday.

Renie

EatPlayLove said...

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. But are you compromising at all??? Because if your bf spends all the holidays at your family's house, I am missing the compromise. It's a hard one, but I suggest give and take. It might save some resentment in the future.

Jaina said...

SupercoolMom - Thank you so much ::hugs::

Donna - You're very welcome, I hope your weekend was great too :)

ohmommy - I'm sure we'll work them out. Eventually.

Cheryl - Thanks so much. I wish that it wasn't so difficult, I feel bad but the bf wants to be with me for the holidays, and I want to be home, I NEED to be home. At least this year.

Petunia - Oh I definitely agree. Especially when we have children. But this year we don't, and we're only dating. Which is why I'm having so much trouble with it.

Renie - Thanks :) I hope you had a lovely weekend.

EatPlayLove - You're not wrong, there isn't a huge compromise this time. (there will be more in the future) The small one for Thanksgiving here is that we are coming back either Friday evening or Saturday morning (early) rather than late Saturday evening so that we can do stuff with his parents that weekend. I'm not sure about Christmas. I agree that there needs to be more. And maybe I'm being selfish, but I was not and am not ready to NOT be with my family this year. I wasn't supposed to have to be. And I was assured and reassured that it was okay. But no, devil's advocate is right. And I appreciate you playing that role, keeps me honest. ;)