Alright. I'm frustrated. And I need to just write to get a few things out. I'm going to try to very matter of factly give you two situations here. I need feedback, I want to hear your take on this. And don't be afraid to tell me I'm wrong or unreasonable if you think I am. I want honesty.
Situation Number One:
We've tossed around the idea of going on a lake trip sometime soon with our desert group. I was (and am) totally keen on this idea. Sometime last week, the bf and I head down to visit Renee at work and there is a date for this trip that they've already discussed and checked with our desert friends. Cool, I'm excited.
I get home that night and see the weekly young adult email from our leader and a date catches my eye. The date for the retreat. I quickly go to my calendar and check. Sure enough, the retreat (that I've been planning to go on since I couldn't go to the one back in like, September) is marked clearly on the weekend they planned to go to the lake. I immediately start to text the bf (he was out shopping). As I was texting, he calls. I tell him about the scheduling conflict that I just saw. Long and short, the trip ends up being rescheduled for a few reasons, partly because of me.
Please note: at no point during the planning/decision making of date was I asked once if that date worked for me. Additionally, while I was disappointed by the conflict, I never asked for the date to be rescheduled. I wished them a good time and said I would miss them.
I was upset about situation number one for two reasons. Reason number one: I was annoyed that plans were made for me without any of my input. Reason number two: the bf got mad at me for the scheduling conflict...when he had neglected to ask me about the date before planning it.
Situation Number Two:
I'm talking to my cousin (Ariel) today. We've been talking for a week or two to try and figure out a weekend for her to come visit me. I'd given her a few dates that were clear on my calendar. She asked about a date and we settled on the weekend of the 20-22, two weekends from now. There are zero other plans on my calendar or that I've been spoke to about.
I mentioned it to the bf, that she was going to come the weekend after our next desert trip. (which is this weekend, obviously) I did not ask the bf for input/permission before giving my cousin the green light.
Are these situations the same? Did I do the same thing today that he did to me last week?
I'll save my commentary until I hear back from at least a few of you. I don't want to color or influence your responses to me. Please, please be honest with me.