Thursday, February 18, 2010

Several Letters

To the two morons in the street,

One, you were j-walking. Yes, most of us have done it at some point in our lives. It doesn't make it any less stupid. Two, you were about 15 feet from the stoplight and a crosswalk. Seriously? Just walk the extra few feet. If you decide to go ahead and do it anyway, then do it quickly. Do not saunter at a snails pace across the pavement. You do not look cool swaggering across the street in the face of oncoming traffic. You look like a complete moron without a drop of common sense in your body.

Questioning your brain function,
The girl in the car who very nearly almost considered running you over, even though she doesn't like Darwin
-----------------------------------------------
Miss Last minute,

Let's be honest, we both know you were going to merge. You had a ridiculously long distance to merge over, yet you waited until you were about to run into a sign to turn on your blinker and try, forcing me to slam on my breaks to let you over. You are lucky I'm nice.

~The girl glaring at you in your rear-view mirror
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Aunt Flo,

I hate you. Make up your mind or go away.

Love,
Jaina
-----------------------------------------------
To everyone who drives a car,

They have this remarkable new-fangled technology to let other drives know when you're going to change lanes or turn. They're called BLINKERS. They're stupid simple to turn on and you are LEGALLY required to do so. Am I the only one who passed driver's ed? You are not exempt, nor are you more important than anyone else on the road. If you don't use your blinker, don't be surprised when I speed up to not let you over. I strongly dislike people who can't manage to follow simple rules. Same goes to tailgaters.

~The girl actually using her blinkers
------------------------------------------------
Dear characters in my head,

I love that you're all clamoring for attention after a long, long hibernation, but seriously, you're making me ADD jumping between your story threads. But if it gets the threads out of my head then I guess I don't mind too much.

Inspirationally Yours,
Jaina
------------------------------------------------
My sweet chocolate covered strawberries,

I love you. That is all.


11 comments:

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...these are a hoot!

Kelly Deneen said...

LOL. This is so hilarious because I was composing letters in my head to drives earlier this week. haha!

Jessica said...

OH.MY.GOSH. I can't stand going to the grocery store and waiting for people to walk across in front of me either. I don't even care if there's a crosswalk or not. We all still have somewhere to go - walk, people!

Golly...that made me seem angry! :)

OHmommy said...

Nom, nom. I haven't had chocolate covered berries in forever!

Jaina said...

Kim-Thanks! :)

Kelly-Seriously. I do that quite a bit. People need to learn to drive responsibly and without being jerks.

Jessica-Lol, I don't mind letting people go, but I hate it when they dawdle.

Pauline-Oh they are yummy, I highly recommend making some soon, they are SO worth it!

Trooper Thorn said...

The worst is the jay-walker who does the slo-mo run like he's making an effort to cross quickly but is no faster than regular walker. It's not a special effect A-hole!

Fresh Mommy said...

Hahaha, I agree with all of those!! Why do people act the way they do??!!! :)

April said...

Sorry I haven't been around, life is crazy!

But I just wanted to say I am very sorry to hear about your good friend Moe. :-(

Jaina said...

Trooper-Yeah, those people are even more irritating than the normal morons.

Tabitha-SERIOUSLY!!

April-Thanks, and no worries, you have your hands full of adorable cuteness! Thank you though, I appreciate it.

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