Thursday, September 25, 2008

Meeting Yourself

I've determined that my thoughts flow best at night. I'm not entirely certain if this is because it's calm and quiet under the cover of darkness, or if the end of the day tired removes the writer's block and hesitancies that that so often plague my words. That being said, I just completely lost my train of thought...

Oh there it went. You were all incredibly supportive during the roller coaster ride that defined the third month of my relationship, and for that I am extremely grateful. I know that I haven't said much after the fact (mostly because even I got tired of listening to me whine), but I can confidently say that those were growing pains...and we weathered them out. You know that old cliche where it's not the other person it's you, but when it's said we all know it really is the other person? Well in this case, the majority of it really was me. Looking back now, I can see things much more clearly. Sure the bf played his own part...but I hate to admit that I maybe provoked the reactions I got with the behavior I displayed. It's been a definite learning process. Making the decision to let go and trust someone to catch you is easily made. Doing so easily? Doesn't always follow like that. But I'm learning, and growing...and we can both feel the positive outcomes of all of our growing.

It's interesting how much you learn about yourself in a relationship. I've always maintained that it's important to know who you are just as you before you can even think about figuring out and defining you + someone else. But now, I think that's only part of it. Knowing yourself is still critical...but I'm learning more and more that learning who you are when you're with someone else? That's pretty important too. Without that you are very one-sided, and that's the opposite of well roundedness. You have to know yourself alone and in other interpersonal relationships. And it takes a lot of patience and understanding and maybe a flared temper or two, but in the end? It can be prove to be completely worth it. I definitely think this one has been worth it.


9 comments:

April said...

I'm so glad you've had this revelation! It's so easy to overlook our OWN "flaws" sometimes, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. Lord knows, I I had a lot, but thankfully I have finally gotten it right!!

Jaina said...

Thanks April, that's really encouraging. I'm glad you've gotten in right. I'm definitely working on it...

Petunia said...

Jaina ~~ I have tagged you on my blog if you care to play along!

Supercool Hotmama said...

So great when one can look back and recognize growth!

Please, please share that wonderful, moving video! It's at Catholicvote.com!

Gramma Ann said...

Hi jaina...

Believe it or not I'm still meeting myself. So many things to learn and always enjoying it.

ConverseMomma said...

I am a firm believe in the power of reflection to transform our lives and our thinking. Mistakes are how we learn. You, my friend, are wise beyond your years.

Eileen said...

Hi Sweetie,
Thanks for your caring thoughts and prayers. It helps...so much.

I love this post, so much wisdom and so very true. This learning about each other and meeting ourselves seems to be a process that never ends. It is a good thing, although painful at times. It is how we grow and strengthen ourselves and those we love. I am so happy that things are going well for you now. You deserve total happiness.
XXXXXXX

EatPlayLove said...

I fell for my hubby at such a young age that we truly grew up together. follow your heart, take the good with the bad, enjoy your time together.

Jaina said...

Petunia-Thanks for the tag! I've never been tagged for anything before, I think I'll give it a try. :)

Supercool Hotmama-Thanks, it really is. I'm learning that as I go.
And thanks! I'll have to work up a post with that, I love that you shared it, such a neat video.

Gramma Ann-That's comforting to know, thank you. :)

ConverseMama-Eloquent as always. And thank you, that means a lot to me.

Eileen-I only wish I could do more. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I hope things are going well for you tonight.

EatPlayLove-Excellent wisdom that I fully intend to follow. Thank you. :)