Cancer is a Bitch

You might remember stories about my friend Renee. Her real name is Moe. She's my riding coach, but so much more. She's a wonderful friend. Her daughter, Bells, is like a little sister to both me and the fiance. We consider them family. Moe is one of the most amazing people I know. She is always there when you need her, always has words of wisdom to share, and you know she'll tell it to you straight. She is really, truly a gift.

Moe successfully fought breast cancer a number of years back. The fiance and I found out this afternoon that she has cancer again and is currently in the hospital. It's liver cancer, and it is aggressive, they have her on morphine right now. They are going to do an oral chemo treatment, I believe for about 2 weeks, which has about a 50% chance of having any effect on the cancer.

She is a fighter, I know that much without a doubt. But right now she needs all the help she can get. Please keep Moe, her daughter, her husband, and all of their family in your prayers. Prayer is an incredibly powerful blessing. Please pray for Moe. Pray very, very hard.

Happy 2010!!

Happy 2010!! I hope that everyone had a safe and wonderful holiday and New Year. Mine was amazing, if a bit on the chilly side. We left the east coast at under freezing and stepped out of the airport into 70 degrees. I loved the east coast, but I was sure happy to be home in my warm California sunshine.

I have lots of stories to share from up and down the east coast. Fun adventures, long walks, nights with my cousin and her boyfriend, historical sites and all sorts of fun. I think the highlight of my trip was sitting around the living room with my Uncle Don, fiance and grandparents on New Years Eve, just chatting for a couple hours. It was quality time with my uncle that I absolutely loved. That's not to say that the rest of my trip wasn't amazing, it absolutely was. That moment was just one of the most meaningful.

I spent more time on the east coast in December than I did in California. Consequently, I had my first real encounter with jet lag. I went to bed at 5:45 last night and did not get up until 6 this morning. 12 hours was wonderful though and most definitely needed. Sadly, the fiance's grandmother passed away while we were gone, so we were at her funeral yesterday afternoon. It was a beautiful service though, I think she would have liked it. The fiance is doing pretty well, but I'm sure that prayers would still be very much appreciated.

I've cleaned most of my apartment but still have a few things to do. The spring cleaning bug always hits me after New Years. I guess I just like to start the year out clean and organized. It will also help as we delve into our wedding planning. I'm really excited. I should hear back from the chapel wedding coordinator hopefully Thursday to secure our date. I am SO excited!

I'm planning to keep up regular posting this year, let's call it a New Year's resolution. Maybe not everyday, but at least a few times a week (though daily would be great). I will also do my best to get more photos up as well since my blog did initially begin as a place to post my pictures. I have a few ideas for some series/themed type posts as well, but more on that later.

When it rains, it pours - Updated

This was not the post I wanted to write today.

My Great Grams was in the hospital earlier in the week with what turned out to be pneumonia. My Grammy lives with her and had to call 911 to get her to the hospital. She was doing much better and came home Wednesday. This morning my mom called to check in and see how everything was going and hit their answering machine. My Grammy called her back to tell her that she'd had to call 911 again because this morning Grams was cold, clammy, had stomach pains (which my Grammy thinks was actually chest pain) and was moaning. That's about all I know at this point. Grams is an amazing woman, fiery and wonderful even though she is losing her eyesight at 93. She is my dad's grandmother and I absolutely adore her. I would greatly appreciate that if you are so inclined, if you would pray for Grams.

Update 12/4, 3:08pm: Grams is home. I don't really have any other details. (don't get me started on the aunt who is there atm) I did get to speak with Grams and she sounded good, if a bit tired. I'll update when I hear back from Grammy.

Cancer Sucks

I've been trying so hard to hold it together all day. I can barely see straight. My words are merely syllables of frustration.

My mom imed me this morning to let me know that they are contemplating going back East before, during and/or after Christmas and to ask if I would be interesting in joining them.

I found out a few weeks ago that there are two new spots in my uncle's brain, from what my mom said today they are small tumors, between 1 and 5mm from what my mom said today. I don't know all the details, but they're planning to do some kind of localized radiation or something...I'm not sure. But I guess after that he found out that it looks like there are more coming back in his lungs and now a rib. I don't know more than the very basic details about this. And this follows on the heels of the news that a friend of my mom's, a mother of 7, has breast cancer that is much more widespread than initial imagined.

So we are looking at going back to the East coast for Christmas. This could be all just too much worry, but the fact that my mom decided to look at doing this makes me worry even more. My uncle is a man of great faith and has spoken so many times of truly feeling the effects of prayers. My mom said that he is fine with all of this, his faith is keeping him strong. Now if only I could share that. All I can do is pray. And in the meantime figure out vacation days and astronomical flight prices.

Links to a few previous posts about my uncle.

He's Awake!!!!

I know it's been quite some time, but I have some wonderful news to share. You may remember my dad's friend who was in that really bad accident quite a few months ago.

My mom just imed me to give me the wonderful news that Dave is awake and has been awake for about a week!! He is talking and sleeping and waking up, and he even took a few steps today! He still has a long road ahead of him, but he is awake and healing, this is incredible! Thank you so much for all of your prayers, I know that they have made a big difference for Dave and his family. Please pray that he continues to heal and recover.

Prayers for Andrew

A while back I posted several prayer requests, one of which was for a little boy named Andrew. Preston over at Me and the Blue Skies has posted a heart wrenching update. Andrew is 8 years old and has a tumor in his cheek that is crushing his sinus cavity and wrecking havoc with his teeth. His father just found out that he is going to be losing his job because the company he works for is going out of business. Because of this, he cannot qualify for COBRA in the midst of Andrew's medical treatments.

Andrew and his family need a lot of prayers. Please add them to any prayer chains you know of or are a part of. Preston is looking into setting up some kind of donation fund for Andrew. As soon as I have more information about that, I will be sure to post that up here.

Update on my Uncle

My uncle's surgery went very well and he is recovering, if in a great deal of pain. Considering they stretched vascular muscle tissue from his neck up to help cover and heal the hole in the back of his head, it's to be expected. My grandpa said that my uncle is hoping to be out of the hospital by Friday. At present, he is resting and recovering. Please keep him in your prayers as he heals, and that the pain will lessen. Right now he is on a morphine drip to help ease the pain.

Thank you so much for your prayers, they mean so much to me, my uncle and my family.

Prayer Request for my Uncle Don and others

My uncle is having surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30 am, East Coast time. The opening in the back of his head has widened again and is leaking a bit, so they have to go in and close it up...again. This time the surgeon will also work with a plastic surgeon to help try and make this the last surgery he has to have. Please keep my uncle in your prayers.

I do not have any new updates on my dad's friend Dave's condition at this time. As far as we know he is still in a coma. Please continue to pray for his healing and recovery.

Finally, my mom just learned that the daughter of one of her friends is battling cancer. I'm waiting for complete details, but it sounds like she is doing fairly well in the later stages of chemo...it seems to be working. I'll post more details about her later as I get them.

Thank you. :) Please share any prayer requests of your own in the comments. I'd love to include your intentions in my own prayers.

Update on Dave's Condition

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Dave and his family, I know they are making a difference.

Dave came out of surgery for his knee and hand just fine, but remains in ICU. They have determined that he is in a coma. He is holding steady, not getting worse but not getting better either. He's going on a week now. Please continue to pray for Dave's continued healing. Pray that his brain is able to repair itself after this massive head trauma. Pray that his body continue to heal. I cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers.

Again, feel free to pass this prayer request on to your friends, family and any prayers chains you know. Dave needs all the prayer warriors he can get. I greatly appreciate all of the supportive comments everyone has left, I know Dave has people all over the country and the world praying for him, and that is a powerful thing.

Urgent Prayer Request Update

First off, I'd like to thank each and every one of you for all of your prayers for Dave and his family. I know that they are making a difference. Please continue to pray for him.

We have more details on what happened. Evidently he was riding and a Jeep made a left hand turn in front of him. He slammed really hard into the side. The passenger of the Jeep was also taken away by ambulance at the scene. From what we've been told, Dave has "massive" head trauma, C1 and C2 fracture, broken left knee, broken left hand and internal bleeding. He is still unconscious but not in a coma. He is stable enough to have surgery to repair his knee and hand today, which is definitely a good sign, though he is still in ICU.

Please continue to keep Dave in your prayers, he still needs them as he continues to recover. Things are looking up, but he's not out of the woods yet. Please also keep the passengers of the Jeep in your prayers. I have no other details about those individuals at this time.

Thank you again for all of the prayers. I'll update again as soon as more information becomes available.

Sunday Smorgasbord

I unfortunately do not have any new information about Dave's condition. Thank you for all of your prayers, please keep them coming. I promise to update as soon as I know more. I'm hoping to get an update sometime tomorrow.

Two trips to Disney's California Adventure = awesome. First trip wasn't so fun, what with the bf being in a REALLY bad mood all day and being a jerk while we were there...but he's since apologized profusely and we're all better now. Today's trip was AWESOME. Just a relaxed day with the bf and our friend Trickster. He's an amazing rider and like a little brother to both of us. (updated the nicknames post with his and a few other new nicknames)

Went to the mother/daughter luncheon with the bf's mom yesterday, we had a great time. This was her last year organizing/running it. She actually worked out that the Knights would host it and would make it into a family event next year. They'll do the bbq, etc. The ladies will still run the silent auction and raffle, etc. I think it's a great idea. It will bring in a lot more people and subsequently a lot more money for the fundraiser. (a center for the support of pregnant women and mothers, wonderful organization) The bf's mom and I talked about having a girl's day sometime with lunch and a chick flick. That should be fun, she really is such a sweet lady.

Swine Flu has everyone in a tizzy for no real reason. I get the significance, I think the media just needs to chill and find something else to focus on. They're inducing an unnecessary panic. That being said, there was a chance of the campus I work at closing. In such a case, I would be considered "essential staff" and would still have to work. Lame. But our student who was ill was tested negative for swine flu, so I think we're pretty safe for the time being.

Beth's posts over at A Mom's Life inspired me to buy and start the 3o Day Shred. I'm doing really well so far. Even started a separate blog to track my progress. (yes, I realize I'm posting more consistently there than I am here at the moment...I'm working on it)

I suppose that's about it for the moment. I think I'm going to get some sleep now. I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Urgent Prayer Request

I have a very urgent prayer request for you all. My mom just imed me with this information.

A very good friend of my dad's went for a motorcycle ride last night. He was found this morning on the side of the road by a passerby. They don't know if he crashed or got hit, but he's got head trauma, broken cervical vertebrae, internal injuries, possibly more that we are unaware of. He is currently unconscious. He's a DA and a really good friend of my dad's. My dad is pretty shaken, they're getting limited information funneled through the DA's office. Dave is a really good guy and he really needs all the prayers that he can get right now.

Please pass this prayer request on to as many people and prayer chains as you can. My family and his would greatly appreciate it.

Miracle Monday: Miracles Happen

Miracles really do happen. Prayers really are answered. I am so happy to be able to share this miracle with you.

You may remember this post requesting prayers for my uncle. That was the first I'd posted of it on my blog, but we've been praying for him for several years. I would like to extend my deepest, heartfelt thanks for all of your prayers, because I know that they have been answered and they mean the world to me and my family, especially my uncle. My uncle has a very deep relationship with God and he has spoken many times of feeling the power of prayer. Prayer is what has carried him through these trying times.

Several months ago my uncle started a new medicine. Last week we learned that it is working. They measured three of the largest cancerous tumors in his lungs, and they have decreased in size by 30%. The doctor said this was the most significant response to this medicine that they have seen. I don't know all of the details, but basically the medicine goes in and eats the cells around the cancer, depriving it of its food source, thus starving the cancer cells into shrinking. I cannot tell you how elated I was when my mom told me about this last weekend when the bf and I got to my parents' house. So many people have been praying for my uncle and for a miracle like this. I know that all of the prayers are what brought us this beautiful miracle. I ask you to join me in praying that the medicine continues to work its magic, that in another few months we'll see an even greater decrease of these cancer cells. I will also be praying that this medicine will help others like my uncle who are suffering from cancer. I am praying that this is the breakthrough we have all been waiting for. I am heartened that my uncle's body is responding to this medicine in such a drastic manner. I pray for it to continue healing him.

Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers. All of your positive comments mean more to me than you will ever know. Please let me know if there is anything specific that I can pray for you. I believe now, more than ever, in the beauty and power of prayer.

**So I accidentally hit publish instead of scheduling it, so this is up a little early. But sharing miracles is never too early. :)

Prayer Requests

Prayer requests are a beautiful and terrible thing. They are beautiful because it gives us the opportunity to come together and pray for someone we may know, or a complete stranger, and know that we are making a difference in that person's life. They are terrible because it means that someone is suffering and in need of extra prayers.

Preston over at Me and the Blue Skies posted a prayer request for one of his friends. His friend's 8 year old grandson, Andrew, is in the hospital with cancer-a tumor in his cheek. It broke my heart reading what this brave little boy has to go through. Please keep Andrew and his family in your prayers. There are more specific details over on Preston's blog, please stop by and maybe leave a comment.

I also have one other prayer request. Another friend posted a link to a blog by a mother who has a little boy named Stellan. Stellan is currently fighting for his life after slipping into V-Tach (Ventricular Tachycardia). I'm not well versed on the ins and outs of this, but it does not sound good. Please keep little Stellan in your prayers as well.

Finally, on an up note, I wanted to thank you all for your prayers for my friend's mother. The surgery was successful, the doctor was fairly certain that he got all of the cancer out. Thankfully, the oncology reports came back to affirm what he thought. She is still recovering from the surgery and they will be monitoring her for a year or so, but at this time she does not have to do chemo or radiation of any kind. We are so relieved. I know that all the prayers helped her greatly during this time, and I truly appreciate them. Thank you.

Perspective

It's so easy to get caught up in your own life and struggles to a point that they are all you can see. Nothing else could possibly be more stressful or irritating than your own issues. It is often somewhere along this point, that you are given a healthy dose of reality- perspective, if you will.

Through various events and stresses, I have been living dangerously close to my own personal edge. Let me tell you that I have never been so precariously perched near the edge as I have gotten the past few weeks, and it takes a whole lot to even get me close. Rough patch with the bf (which we've happily gotten past), irritation at work and other minor stresses have added up. And to tell you the truth, I'm not fond of my own behavior lately with my low frustration threshold and the consequences of such.

Enter reality checks. I really have it pretty good. These little things that set me on edge are trivial. (minus the stuff with the bf...but like I said, we've resolved them and we're good) Perspective is a great thing, though it sometimes breaks my heart when I get it. Irritating and monotonous calls at work are nothing when compared to a friend whose mother just underwent surgery to remove a wretched disease they call cancer. Or a friend undergoing the trials and pain of a first love and heartbreak. (girls can be just as awful as guys sometimes, only worse) Or friends dealing with pain and suffering in those around them, big, painful things.

When you hear these things, it really puts things into perspective. Suddenly the minor daily annoyances don't seem quite so annoying. A little bit of tiredness isn't cause for a national crisis. You're suddenly reminded of how blessed you are and how good and beautiful life truly is. Perspective is a great thing when you pay attention to it. I try to notice, because it usually comes when I need it most. I feel refreshed and renewed, in a way, because suddenly things aren't quite so burdensome.

---
...as far as the reasons for my new perspective, please offer a prayer (or two) for a dear friend's mother. I haven't written about it, it's a little too close right now. But pray for her healing, pray that the cancer was successfully removed today in surgery. Pray for healing for all people suffering from heartache and loss of any kind, particularly when they've done nothing to deserve it. Pray for broken families and broken hearts...pray for peace and comfort for those entertaining thoughts of suicide and for those dealing with those issues. Pray that love would prevail in this often cold world. Pray for love, pray for peace, pray for clarity. Pray for hope.

Please pray for my Uncle Don

As I don't have the willingness to re-write it, here's a copy of the email I just sent to my IRL friends. Please pray for my Uncle.

-----------------------
Hi Everyone,

Many of you know about the situation with my Uncle Don, but for those of you who don't, he's been battling with cancer. In brief, he had thyroid cancer many many years ago that they removed. A few years ago it came back and it spread to his lungs, mostly in small inoperable spots. Within the past year or so, they discovered a large tumor at the base of his brain on which they successfully operated and removed. He has been through chemo, and they have had to do things with the scar on the back of his head, I'm not clear on all the details. Through it all we have requested and offered prayers for him, and he has commented privately to us how much he has felt them and how important they are. Slightly unrelated, but he also injured his shoulder a few months ago and has been in the process of recovering from that in addition to dealing with everything else.

Tonight I logged in to find a fervent prayer request from my uncle. It probably goes without saying, but he has never actively requested these prayers and I have NEVER heard him complain about anything, including pain. He has encouraged individually in private, but never like this. He is asking for increased prayers.

I am writing to all of you to ask for prayers for my uncle. Things are dragging in his work, which provides added stress to an already stressful situation. He sneezed quite hard the other day and has either separated or cracked one or more of his ribs. The back of his head split open a little and a small hole is leaking again. His right shoulder is healing, but the joint pain is constant and sometimes severe. He said that he is reducing his thyroid intake to prepare for an I131 scan and possible treatment. For those of you unfamiliar with this, decreasing his thyroid intake wrecks havoc with his body, causes him fatigue and generally makes life unpleasant. I just found out from my mom that the I131 is the radioactive iodine that they put into his body that goes after thyroid cancer cells.

I was unaware of any of this until his email this evening and am worried about him. Throughout it all he is still very faithful and praises God, in which I find comfort. But I ask that you keep my Uncle Don in your prayers, and at his specific request, put him on as many prayer chains and lists as possible. He in turn will be pouring out prayer for everyone else, and I will be keeping all of you in my prayers as well.

I will leave you with the verse he closed his email with.

"the effective fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" James 5:16b

Out of Sorts

It is with deep sadness that I have to tell you that the Sultan's daughter's father passed away today. I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through right now. Bee told me tonight at mass. I don't have words to describe, but I ask that you keep the Sultan's daughter and her family in your thoughts and prayers. I will be praying particularly that she finds peace in her father's passing.

My mind is slightly less jumbled after a nice long chat with Ani tonight. I needed to talk to someone about this news, and about various things. I'm not sure how long he's been sick, I only found out last week when I posted asking for prayers for him and his family. And that goes back to the contents of the post about feeling like a double agent sometimes. And it hurts a little bit. And that's partly my fault, and partly not. It was comforting to talk to Ani about everything that's been going on, and that split that so many of you offered wonderful advice about, the friends vs. relationship. Like so many of you wonderful readers, Ani offered his own version of advice, saying that so many people don't understand that things DO change when you're in a serious relationship. And that if they haven't been in a similar situation, it can be hard to understand. He made me realize that I'm not a freak, I'm not just an idiot who can't manage to get things straight. It's NOT just me. It's partly my friends. I won't blame them, but I'll stop blaming me too. (or at least try)

I'm just a little out of sorts this evening. And very, very sad for the Sultan's daughter. I can only imagine the pain and grief, and can only wish that I could make it all go away. I think maybe I'll pray the rosary before I sleep, help focus my prayers for her and her family. It's the best way I know to quiet and focus my thoughts that run so rampant through my head.

Mending Fences

For such a positive, happy person, I sometimes forget just how important a can-do attitude and a little determination can be, and consequently am sometimes astonished by the results. I by no means have corrected the effects of neglecting my friends, but a little outreach filled with love has gone a long way in less than a day. I'm already working to make plans and make sure that I don't neglect anyone anymore. The bf and I had a great talk this morning about all of it. He's really happy that, unlike last time I decided my life needed to be balanced, this time I talked to him about it first and explained how I was feeling and what I was thinking to do. (thereby avoiding the mess that nearly broke us up during our third month...I'm sure many of you remember those whiny posts) I still need to be sure to not neglect him either, but work more for the balance.
I have a phone date with a friend on Sunday, and I'm visiting an old friend on Monday who happens to be a priest (interesting story, but that is a blog post unto itself)
I'm also taking the Sultan's Daughter's advice to actually call my friends, because they do care and they do miss me. Somehow, somewhere in there I'd gotten convinced that I wasn't missed and that they didn't care. Crazy, right? She was certain to point that out to me last night. It was really due to a simple im message from her a few days ago that kicked my butt and brought me back to reality, gave me the energy that I needed to right things. And I'm happy about it.

I'm making it sound like everything's better already, and it's on it's way, but still a work in progress, and it's far from being perfect. I'd talked to Bee earlier in the week about maybe taking Friday as a movie/art project evening. She hadn't sounded overly enthused or entirely free. I'm not sure if we talked about it more than once (I think we did). But from the vibes I got, I figured we weren't doing anything tonight. So I accepted the dinner invite from the bf's parents this morning. Only to get a text around 6 or so asking if I wanted to do dinner since I'd mentioned maybe being free. I felt awful. I don't think I did anything wrong, but after the conversation we had last night, and with everything I'm trying to work on, it was kinda like, duh stupid. But like I said, it's a work in progress, and I've only just begun. I just have to show her through actions that I'm making a sincere effort to balance and not neglect anyone. It's only a matter of time.

Before I close tonight and get some much needed sleep, I have a prayer request that nearly breaks my heart, especially because I just found out about it. (what can you expect when you go mia for so long) But the Sultan's Daughter's father is more or less dying from lung cancer. It's a very hard and painful situation that I know I only begin to understand on the surface. But if you all wouldn't mind keeping all of her family in your prayers, it would mean a lot to me. I was so glad she told me, but also shocked because I didn't know what to say. So I'm going to pray the rosary, for her father. The rosary helps me focus, especially when my mind just won't seem to shut itself up.