In Which I Vent

Let me preface this by saying that I am irrationally venting. I've been in an apathetic kind of mood most of the day. I know everything will fall into place, that I'm likely hormonal and just need to bury myself in dark chocolate and strawberries. Or dark chocolate covered strawberries. Oooh that sounds good. I should get the fiance on that.

We are less than one year away from our wedding. The ceremony is in place as far a time and location, but I don't have the reception yet. This is getting increasingly stressful, because the longer we wait to book a place, the harder it's going to be. Half my problem is that everything is so damn expensive. It's incredibly frustrating to try and plan a strictly budgeted wedding and not be able to find a lot of places to choose from because if they aren't charging you thousands of dollars just to have the room, they're charging you $75 a person to be there, or both! I know plenty of people pay this without blinking. Kudos to them. I don't have that kind of money. Yes I know cutting the guest list is a great way to save money, we may end up thinning it out, but I need numbers first!!

We are technically on the books for a site, but we have no numbers and no contract, and to me, until I have those things, there is no guarantee. It's a newer place, so I understand that they don't have everything all packaged and whatnot which is fine, I understand that. And they are great and I love them, I just need to get things figured out so that we can get to work on the rest of it.

I know that something is going to work itself out, it always does. But at this particular moment I feel like a stubborn child, stomping my foot, throwing my toys and saying I want it NOW! Is that really too much to ask?

I had a dream last night that was kind of amusing but also a little stressful. Nothing was planned for our wedding except that I had my dress and somehow people were coming. For some reason we were up at my parent's house for the wedding. We were trying to get things ready, but nothing was planned, so we didn't have anything. It was in the last hour before the wedding was supposed to start and I hadn't even started getting ready. The fiance and I, my parents, my brothers, my grandparents and some of my cousins were all sitting around our long dining room table, I was in my wedding dress. I was at one end, the fiance was at the other. We were debating postponing the wedding because we weren't prepared, but we were worried because there was only an hour till the wedding started and we knew that some people (specifically my two bosses for some reason were in it) were likely almost there if not there already, and had driven at least 3 hours to get there. We finally made the decision to postpone the wedding. I was inconsolably upset that the fiance had seen my dress and we weren't even going to get married that day. Somehow we all ended back up at the table again. Someone, it might have been me, suddenly sat up and asked, wait a sec, what year is it? Someone (I think my mom or grandpa) answered, 2010. And I was like, omg, we're a year early!!! The wedding isn't until 2011!!! I think we started laughing out of sheer frustration. It was at this point that I woke up.

Yeah. I need the reception venue nailed down with numbers and a contract, stat.